How To Identify The Symptoms Of Bipolar Disorder (Mania & Depression)

October 18, 2007 by  
Filed under DEPRESSION

By Nafa Danfad

Bipolar Disorder involves problems with the emotions that can deeply affect your mental and physical health. It is a disease that can be present in anyone who develops the signs and symptoms of it.

The symptoms are sub-categorized into two components: mania and depression.

Here are the following symptoms of mania:

1. A sudden growth in self-worth and the act of being lavish.

2. Little needs to have a good sleep. Someone with this symptom would feel that he or she had rested enough even with only three hours of sleep.

3. Becomes a bigger chatterbox than usual.

4. Develops a feeling that his or her mind keeps pacing up

5. Tends to get unfocused. He or she will pay more attention to things that are less essential rather than things that he or she ought to pay more attention to.

6. A sudden growth in involvement in activities that have an aim to achieve be it in school or work.

7. Tends to get too pro-active in too many activities, probably to preoccupy his or her mind from the sorrows and pains that he or she does not wish to think about.

Here are the following symptoms of depression:

1. Being moody and less cheerful throughout almost the whole day.

2. Does not find any keen interest to take part in any activity. He or she just

wants to lay down and do nothing except to ponder on anything that is causing this depression.

3. A drastic increase or decrease in weight and appetite.

4. Will either have little sleep or too much of sleep.

5. Tends to get easily irritated.

6. Tends to get easily exhausted and less energetic.

7. Develops a feeling of low self-esteem. He or she would feel useless and feel guilty over everything that surrounds him or her, even though it is totally not his or her fault.

8. Tendency to be fickle-minded. He or she would lack of focus in whatever that needs to be done, and would not be able to make decisions well.

9. Always have the urge to commit suicide.

Bipolar Disorder is a serious illness that can affect the way you live your life, as well as your dearest ones who would constantly have to worry about your condition. It should definitely not be taken for granted. Fortunately, it is treatable. So if you notice that you develop the following symptoms, you can still do something to prevent yourself from Bipolar Disorder.

It is advisable to relate your problems and emotional roller coasters to a professional and get yourself treated as soon as possible.If you have a loved one whom you think is facing this problem, you can do your part by getting him or her to seek professional help.

Some say that emotional illnesses are much harder to handle compared to physical illnesses. But no matter what, emotional illnesses can still be cured if you make an effort to cure them. Bipolar Disorder is no exception. Problems cannot be avoided, but you can make sure that these problems do not bring you down.

So get help today and start a new and better life.

Nafa Danfad

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Can You Be Suffering From Bipolar Depression?

May 10, 2007 by  
Filed under DEPRESSION

By: Riley Hendersen

Bipolar depression is a condition that routinely persists in the daily life of some individuals. Such depression is not what many of us feel on occasion, but are extreme and severe episodes that affect personal lives and work, and ability to function on a daily basis.

Feeling good or sad on occasion are parts of daily life for everyone, yet for someone diagnosed with bipolar depression, those ups and downs can cause such a severe disruption of activities that life may sometimes seem pointless.

Such episodes of bipolar depression cause sufferers to feel extremely sad and provoke periods of worthlessness, disinterest and unconcern about anything around them. Many people who suffer from this condition don’t even want to get out of bed or eat. This period of extreme disinterest may last days, or sometimes weeks, which is why it is so important to recognize its signs and symptoms. If left untended, many sufferers lose friends, their job, and many will starve themselves or even commit suicide.

However, recognizing the signs of bipolar depression is not easy. Since most people experience periods of ‘blues’ or malaise, victims, family and friends almost always assume that the person will ‘snap out of it’ or feel better soon. For some, these feelings may be intermittent, which makes it even more difficult to recognize. For most, feeling ‘blue’ is also accompanied by a lack of interest in anything the person used to take pleasure in, including sex. One may also feel worthless or express lack of hope or faith in the future. Such persons may also experience a change in sleeping habits and weight.

This condition can strike any gender and at any age. Scientists believe that the condition is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, as well as hormone levels, and in recent years, doctors have observed a link between thyroid hormone levels and bipolar depression.

For some, bipolar depression causes the sufferer to doubt every decision and therefore leads to indecision in even the simplest matters, and such confusion and lack of ability to believe in oneself often leads to thoughts of despair and suicide. These periods of depression can last days, weeks or months. Many people suffer from bipolar depression and don’t even know it. Some accompanying symptoms can be eating disorders, phobias, and panic attacks that cause people to withdraw into isolation.

Many people suffering from bipolar depression want help, but don’t know whom to turn to when everything seems so pointless. Therefore, it’s up to family and friends to know when something is wrong and to encourage and seek help for their loved one.

Keeping track of mood swing frequency, duration and severity helps doctors to determine whether or not you or a loved one is suffering from the condition, but the recognition and desire to seek treatment must start with the family and friends of those suffering from the disease. Bipolar depression can be treated, but only early intervention will make life easier for both the patient and their families.

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For more information on bipolar, try visiting – a website that specializes in providing bipolar related tips and resources to include information on bipolar depression..

5 Powerful Ways to Fight Bipolar Disorder in Children – Perhaps Your Child!

March 28, 2007 by  
Filed under DEPRESSION

By Merri Ellen Giesbrecht

1. Get rid of the TV and video games.

What? You may gasp, but the amount of stuff that kids see these days only damages their development of proper thinking such as assessing reality, problem solving, etc. We are convinced that bipolar disorder in children can be aggravated by TV and video game images. You most likely heard about this study already on TV affecting a child’s sleep functioning. Once we got rid of these things, yes, we got objections, but a few days later the kids were playing in the backyard throwing a ball around – laughing! What a concept! This makes for happier parents too!

If you can’t eliminate TV and video games completely, then maximize their time to an hour a day. Then instead, teach them the importance of doing good things for others and focus on that by verbally praising them. Show them what is important to enjoy life – hard work and loving others instead of seeking to be entertained.

2. Give your kids Omega 3 Supplements.

By now, you should be aware of the damage of our modern diet and the lack of Omega 3s. If not, you will enjoy our article on Dr. Andrew Stoll curing bipolar patients with Omega 3s. Bipolar disorder in children can be effectively handled with a quality Omega 3 Supplement.

3. Feed your kids natural foods first.

Instead of going for a quick fix meal with tons of preservatives, aim for natural meals. There is so much sugar and salt and other damaging ingredients in our foods today that we are damaging our bodies. (If you owned a Porsche, would you give it recycled oil or the best of the best? Same with our bodies – they are fabulous machines that won’t purr if we feed them junk.)

4. Exercise with your kids!

Exercise is the most underrated yet successful treatment for bipolar disorder in children. The British Journal of Sports Medicine published results that 30 minutes a day of exercise was a more effective method of fighting major depression than drugs. It’s important to teach your kids the necessity of exercise for all aspects of health. Whatever exercise you choose, your child will love the fun and you’ll love a happier child and a happier you too! 😉

5. Find a great counsellor for your child.

Bipolar disorder in children can be caused by traumatic events – events that your child may find difficult to speak with you about. Don’t feel helpless and don’t insist on wanting to be the one your child talks to. The important thing is that they can share with someone. Events such as the early loss of a parent, parental depression, incest, or abuse can cause bipolar disorder in children. You may want to have your child’s school guidance counsellor meet with him or recommend someone else for your child. Just make the call.

“We hope this bipolar disorder in children information will help you too!”

Warmest regards,

Merri Ellen is a former depression sufferer who has a mission to share the latest research on curing depression. Just recently, she has contributed to the writing of a special report on ‘6 Ingredients to Cure Depression’ which is a free report! You can learn more at:

Copyright 2005 – All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Reprint Rights: You may reprint this article as long as you leave all of the links active, do not edit the article in any way, give author name credit and follow all of the EzineArticles terms of service for Publishers.

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Wholistic Treatment for Bipolar Disorder

March 3, 2007 by  
Filed under DEPRESSION

By Terry Coyier

Bipolar Disorder is one of the most difficult to treat. Not only is it difficult to find the right medicine recipe for each person, patient compliance is a major obstacle. Some people suffer debilitating side effects or cannot tolerate the high dosages of some medications. Some start feeling better and make a conscious decision to stop taking their medications. Others simply don’t like taking medication at all. Some of these same people will turn to vitamins, health supplements and holistic answers instead. Herein lies the problem. It seems to me that the general population is much more willing to trust the claims on vitamins bottles and health supplements than that of prescription medications that are governed by the FDA. Who is it that regulates vitamins and health supplements– the “natural healing fairy?

Well, come to find out, many studies are being conducted on holistic approaches to bipolar treatment and they are being funded by organizations like The Stanley Organization, National Institute of Health and the National Institute of Mental Health. Some important organizations are taking notice that maybe there is something to this “natural” approach. Maybe there is and maybe there isn’t. I am convinced that doing everything possible to make this illness more bearable is worth a shot, but I’m not willing to give up my medication yet and neither are any of the organizations funding the studies.

Nothing that you read here is meant to replace any advice that you are given by a trained professional. The information is simply what I researched and the claims may or may not be accurate. Please do not try any holistic approach without consulting with your physician or psychiatrist first. Also, all of these approaches, by their own admission are to be used as an adjunct to psychiatric medications. In other words, they are meant to help reduce the dosage, not replace the medicine all together.


Mood Stabilizing Substances
Lecithin (Phosphatidyl Choline)
L-Taurine (Amino Acid)
GABA (Amino Acid)

To Fight Depression
B- Complex
Folic Acid
B1 (Thiamin)
Magnesium & Calcium
L-Phenylalynine & DL-Phenylalynine
L-Triptophan (Amino Acid)

Most of these vitamins and minerals can be found in a good multivitamin. The ones that are separate supplements should be verified with your doctor before you go spend a lot of money on them. I didn’t even start taking my multivitamin without checking it out with my psychiatrist first – but then I’m a little anal when it comes to managing my bipolar and my money. I don’t know about your insurance but mine doesn’t cover vitamins.


This is the supplement that we’ve all heard does wonders for depression. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but marketing and advertising people create all that hype. I know this, because I work in advertising. I found tons of information on St John’s Wart (SJW) and most of it echoed the same warnings, that bipolar patients should use extreme caution and consult their physicians before attempting to use it. I know I won’t be adding it to my recipe. The only time it seems to be recommended is for people with very mild depression who almost don’t need to take prescription medication and they still suggest checking with your doctor.

Researchers at Harvard Medical School believe that SJW could be a mania trigger for those who are bipolar but who haven’t experienced a manic episode yet. This is similar to what some antidepressants do to people with bipolar. It can also precipitate hypomanic states or rapid cycling. They mentioned that if you have bipolar you should use extreme caution and confer with your doctor before hand.

In Feb 2000, the FDA released a public health advisory warning that there was a risk of dangerous interactions between SJW and certain prescription medications. Bipolar meds included mainly the Tricyclic Antidepressants (TCA’s) Tofranil, Asendin & Elavil and the anticonvulsant Tegretol. It is assumed that the similar TCA’s Vivactil and Palemor and the similar anticonvulsant Trileptal could also be in the risk group.

There are also reports that when SJW is combined with Serotonin Selective Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRI’s) it can cause Serotonin Syndrome. Symptoms of Serotonin Syndrome symptoms can include dizziness, cognitive difficulty, faintness when standing or walking, unsteadiness when walking, muscle spasms and a racing heart beat. Do not combine SJW with any SSRI’s or with the newly FDA approved Tamoxifen that is used for depression.


Omega-3 Polyunsaturated fatty acids (Omega-3) are found in fish, fish oil and flaxseeds. Yummy! You can bet I was not too excited about the thought of fish oil as a cure for bipolar. Oddly enough, every bit of information I found on Omega-3 was positive. Positive that is as an adjunct to standard bipolar medications. So for people who cannot tolerate high doses or the side effects of their medications, this is something to check out with your doctor.

Many studies have been done, but the one I read most about was a 4 month double-blind placebo controlled study comparing 9.6 g/day of Omega-3 vs. olive oil in 30 patients (Stoll et al., 1999). 8 co-authors concluded that not only were the Omega 3’s well tolerated, but the improved the short term course of the patients with bipolar. They would not suggest using Omega-3 as a first line treatment but would try it for patients who had failed with other medications. Omega-3’s should only be used alone in patients with a very mild form of the illness.

Patients seem to be quite interested in the Omega-3’s because they are a natural supplement with very few side effects and little or no toxic effects. The only reported symptom was mild gastrointestinal distress – generally characterized by loose stools. Many psychiatric medications have this same effect along with a myriad of other more unpleasant ones. If my meds plagued me with a tremendous number of side effects, I would certainly be looking into this one myself.

TRUEHOPE (Synergy Group of Canada, Ltd.)

If you haven’t heard about this one, it’s pretty interesting – depending on how you look at it. Personally I thought they were a couple of quacks until I started investigating it deeper. I mean, when all you know is that it started out with supplements that they give to pigs who are prone to ear and tail biting, you have to be a little skeptical. Don’t you?

Well, they didn’t start with actual pig nutrients; the biologist of the pair, David Hardy created a supplement for humans that were then given to Anthony Stephan’s 2 bipolar children. You can read the entire story at their website, referenced below. The supplement was named EM Power and consists of common minerals, vitamins and amino acids. In fact, the ingredients are so common that they cannot receive a patent for their work.

Several small independent studies were done through individual doctors with small numbers of patients. The results were good – up to a 50% reduction in symptoms compared to when the patients were on psychotropic drugs. Then Harvard psychiatrist Charles Popper monitored 15 patients within his own practice and the results were reported in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. Of the 15 patients that were treated, 11 were stable for 6 – 9 months without taking psychiatric medications. They also did research with Dr. Bonnie Kaplan, PhD. This helped get a grant of a half million dollars to do a placebo-controlled double blind study of 100 bipolar patients at the University of Calgary.

The two drawbacks with EM Power (besides it’s odd origins) are that it isn’t cheap and it’s a lotof pills to take. Initial treatment requires 32 capsules per day until your symptoms disappear and the cost is approximately $220.00 a month. The maintenance dose averages 16 capsules a day. It is safe for children as well – as long as they can take that many pills.


Boy did I find a ton of information on the treatment of depression and bipolar with the ancient Chinese art of acupuncture. What I didn’t find was any proof. No real trials with quantifiable results. I did find one small study done at the University of Arizona College of Medicine, which simply reported positive results using it for major and unipolar depression. That was it.

That was it except for 2 major grants being given to the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center in Dallas (where I am trying to get in on some studies!). Both the National Institute of Mental Health and the National Institute of Health have awarded UT Southwestern significant grants to study the effects of acupuncture. NIMH’s grant with be used to study bipolar patients in their depressive states. The NIH grant will be used for a study similar to the one done at the University of Arizona.

The NIMH trial is the first being conducted regarding acupuncture as an adjunct to medication for bipolar disorder. Once again, not a full cure, but the possibility of reducing medications to tolerable levels.

So, after all of this am I still a skeptic? Sure I am. I’m skeptical of everything until I see proof – but that’s just me. Am I skeptical of “Wholistic Healing” – using holistic methods with psychiatric medications and anything else you can do to make your life better? No. I think there are some great alternative options available for those who cannot handle the symptoms or for those who seem to get little or no results from psychiatric medications. My biggest concern is that if you try any of these, please check with your doctor so that you can work together at managing your bipolar. Don’t go it alone!

Terry J. Coyier is a 37-year-old college student studying for an Associates of Applied Sciences degree. She is also a freelance writer who writes about bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses. Terry was diagnosed with bipolar ten years ago. She lives with her son in the Dallas/Ft. Worth Metroplex. Terry is an author on www.Writing.Com/ which is a site for Writers and her personal portfolio can be viewed here.

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Christian Faith, Bipolar Disorder, and Schizophrenia; Part Two

December 19, 2006 by  

By Matthew Robert Payne

If you have read part one you have already ready read five pages of the things I had to write about tonight. I am not sure how other people write. I write from the heart, and so I do not do a lot of study, even when I write a teaching from the scriptures, I write and use scriptures that I know. I’d like to think in my articles I would say the same things if I was speaking to you face to face.

My life keeps me quite lonely. I am happy to say I have made a couple of friends through my articles, one Bipolar man overseas that might collaborate on designing a website with me, and another Bipolar girl in my own city who is going to become a café latte coffee friend and someone to chat to on the phone. Both were touched by my articles and so for fellow Bipolars and the people who love them I spend another night up typing.

So how do I write five pages without editing except for my proofreader?

Just like this. I sit down and start speaking by using my hands on a keyboard. I have a radio playing favourite hits from the last 20 years and my brain clicking and thoughts tumbling out and putting sentences together and they come out onto the screen at roughly 25 words a minute. I am hopeless at spelling and grammar and not even spell-check can fix my problems, but my proofreader can do wonders with what I write. Perhaps if you have not any confidence in your writing you might find yourself a proofreader and put something down on paper. I am so pleased to have my proofreader. He is a good friend and he loves to read what I have to write and guess what? He is Bipolar also!! Lol

When you live with a living God and you know that God sees everything you are doing and you have been loved by Him like I have, then you have confidence to share your warts and all truth. When you have no fear of truth coming out, you can simply sit down and write from the heart. When you write the truth from your heart, on many occasions the Holy Spirit can use what you have written. Many times in conversation with people, they say, “that’s amazing that you are saying that, I was only reading that yesterday and wanted to know the answer to that and look tonight you have told me.”

When you write from the heart, rather then write from much study, so much more is left up to pure inspiration and with inspiration the Holy Spirit gets a chance to place sentences into your mind. When you’re crafting a sentence the same can be true but it comes more from your mind then from your spirit. Writing from your heart and speaking from your heart is speaking from where your spirit resides. And there the first page is gone already!

Writing a warning from God to a nation.

When Jesus told me to write to the nation of the USA with a last day’s message it was around 12.30am in the morning. Little did I know it would be forty five pages long!

As they only allow a maximum of five pages online here in each article it would have to go to nine articles. I have not yet done that and made it nine articles.

So what can you do when the Holy Spirit directs you to do something like that?

You obey.

I have only read it twice. I had a friend edit it a little for me, taking out some of my bias out of the message. I had it on a website and had 1500 read it and have only had 3 people write to me. I don’t know how many people read all of it but 1500 people in this last year since December 2005 have read it. I’d like to put it on another website one day and advertise it.

Am I mad to write a prophetic message from God? Well no. It took some guts to write it. Since I wrote it I have read a couple of confirmations of it. God is angry with the moral decay of the West and the lukewarm Christianity that exists today. He is angry with the half hearted Christian life that is a life of taking from Him rather then a life of full time service. He is upset with the average Christian not leading anyone to the faith and not even sharing their faith.

On sharing your faith, an excellent book and the very best book I have read is “Share Jesus without fear, by William Fay.”

As an evangelist/prophetic person I value when an evangelist speaks. William says close to 90% of conversions to the Christian faith come from one on one encounters with a Christian and another person. In his book he shares a tried and proven method of doing one on one Gospel presentations of which he has done 25,000 himself. He is more than qualified.

No one taught me to prophesy, no one taught me how to use my gift of prophecy to evangelise people, well that’s if you don’t call the Holy Spirit a person lol. Yes I have been many things simply through the Holy Spirit and when I prophesy to a person or to a whole nation isn’t that the self same Holy Spirit that must bring the message?

Being delivered from demons…having demons speak to you…having a demon pretend to be the Holy Spirit and tell you lies and direct you to do things that you assume are God telling you to do.

I suggest every person who knows a person gifted in deliverance get themselves checked out by that person. A person can be full of pride and not have a demon of pride, yet sometimes they do. Humility is the answer to pride but being humble is hard to be when you are full of pride. Even with a low self esteem I struggle with pride.

Having demons speak to you.

You cannot speak to another person on earth through telepathy. This may upset some of you who currently do so and this may even hurt you more, but I am going to say it. If you think you are currently speaking to a known celebrity or some famous person on earth, ask them for their mobile phone number and ring it right away. If they don’t give you the number, they are a demon pretending to be a human. This hurts to know, but its only when you are willing to give up your voice that you have hope of getting right with God.

Having a demon pretend to be the Holy Spirit and tell you lies and direct you to do things that you assume are God telling you to do.

When Jesus or God is speaking to you, in many cases it is NOT Jesus or God. On many occasions it is a false spirit.

On these occasions you can test the spirit according to 1 John 4:2 by asking, “Are you Jesus Christ who came to earth in the flesh and dwelt among men and died for their sins and on the third day came back to life?”

If the spirit answers yes, then you have Jesus and you can speak and trust the spirit. If you get no answer or anything but a yes don’t listen to the spirit. I have two people that have told me this, and this test is from 1 John in the Bible, and I trust it. So go ahead and test the spirits.

The false Jesus, or false Holy Spirit has got me into a lot of trouble. It has been the source of a lot of my delusions and my manic behaviour and many things that have got me in trouble with the law. I test the spirits these days before I go ahead. Satan is very upset that I am not having many two way conversations with Jesus these days as he is not getting the opportunity to deceive me.

Many Christians never really hear the clear voice of Jesus or the Holy Spirit yet Jesus says quite clearly in scripture, “My sheep hear my voice and they follow me.”

After reading this you may be all freaked out and wondering how on one hand I can write a prophecy or prophesy to a person in the flesh or over the Internet and on the other hand be so honest on how many times I have been deceived.

I know Christians who will never step out in the gift of prophecy simply because they do not want to get the false Jesus on the line. They are willing not to hear from Jesus all their life so that they won’t be deceived. Most people have no idea about testing the spirits.

Staying up for three days and three nights without sleep.

I try not to do this too often, but I have to say I do enjoy doing it. To be able to stay up for two days is a gift I have that my mental illness allows me to have. It forces me into a mania a “high”. After a day and a half I can get quite emotional.

Sometimes when I am on the phone to my mother and I start crying she is able to tell I am “High” and often asks if I have been sleeping. This is answered with the truth and it makes my mother worry.

To be able to stay up all this time, a person has to be busy doing something. You can’t just lay on a sofa and close your eyes and relax or you are soon asleep. You have to be able to be talking or writing or watching TV or something.

The longer I am up the more creative I am. Sometimes I spend a whole night up and I write five of my articles in a day and a half. Sometimes it’s taken me three hours to write part one and down to here in part two. It’s 3am in the morning and I will stay up all night and today and go to sleep tonight.

Jesus spent a lot of time up. Sometimes He went all day and all night up. The less sleep He had the more on fire He was because He had spent more time with His Father.

Sleeping for two days straight.

I used to fall into a major depression once a year and now it seems every few weeks I have a cycle where I simply can’t get out of bed. I sleep forever and even around 3pm in the afternoon when I get up, unless I am busy I end up going back to bed I am so tired.

Well three days like this and all the sleep pulls me into a depression. This is very hard on me. I have just suffered a whole week like it and it is very tiresome. This week I simply felt so overwhelmed and overtaken by my illness that I thought of giving up. My prayer life has suffered my Bible reading has suffered. The more I don’t pray and the more I don’t spend time in the Word the less spiritual strength I have to fight.

If you have a loved one who sleeps a lot. Please accept this is not because they are lazy. Right now I could be sleeping, but I am up trying to fight this depression and having a creative night that might do a few people some good.

Mental illness can be such a struggle. A few weeks ago everything seemed rosy in my life. This last week in depression has sent me on a bender. If I was a drunk I would have really picked up the bottle. I know Satan hates the fact that I have given up the sex workers and is trying to bury me, but I have bought myself some St Johns Wort and I know that if I have to fight this with chemicals within a few weeks St Johns Wort will be winning the battle.

I love Jesus so very much. All night He has been playing me songs on the radio and singing to me and encouraging me. So even though sometimes I get stuck in bed for days, I know when the Holy Spirit inspires me I can stay up all night and write something like this article, The Christian faith, Bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia.

Being so depressed you can’t even wash clothes, shower, shave or cook for yourself…

It’s been two days since I have showered, I have almost run out of clothes, I have a weeks growth on my cheeks. I have no food in the house save breakfast cereal of which I have been eating.

In the past week I have only been up at the most, six hours a day and at the beginning of the week it took of all my mental strength not to ring all of my appointments this week and cancel them all, I simply could not be bothered to keep them.

After I finish this I have promised myself I am going to treat myself to a shower and a shave and to change into my last pair of clean clothes. I have loaded the washing machine and when the time is right about 7am I am going to put the washer on and by the time my case worker comes at 10 am the clothes should be hung out to dry.

Depression just locks you down. It kind of just shuts down your system. And just when you need friends you sort of shut yourself up from your friends and close your self off to others. That’s if you have many friends anyway. I am fortunate that I need to be in touch with my proofreader as we speak at least a couple of times a week.

It hurts so much being depressed. But because the hurt can’t be measured some people just can’t seem to understand it. For a person that has had mental illness for fourteen years I thought it would take something pretty big to shake me. But I have to say this past week has given me a shake, that it’s only scripture and the promises in the Bible that keeps my faith strong.

But I have to share with you, I am really scared. The first 30 articles might be a lot more upbeat then this one. But I have to tell you the truth. Satan hates people. He wants us to kill ourselves if he can achieve it. I am past looking for ways to kill myself but depression really scares me.

Take the time to pray for me and others who suffer with these illnesses. I hope part one and two gave you some insight.

Matthew shares his heart in these articles and can be found at You can read more of his articles at his link below.

If you want a copy of his upcoming book of articles which will have the first sixty of the articles on this web-site called “The Musings of a Mad Prophet” please contact Matthew via email so he can contact you around February 2007 to tell you of the progress of the book.

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Christian Faith, Bipolar Disorder, and Schizophrenia; Part one

December 17, 2006 by  

By Matthew Robert Payne

Growing up with Bible stories and the TV and movies, you come to know about maniac’s. As a teenager I knew that genius and insanity were very closely related. Little did I know I would one day become insane.

Insanity…being out of your mind…delusional….having visions of grandeur…deceived by evil spirits…possessed by demons…contacting the dead…trips to heaven and hell…seeing evil spirits…seeing angels…seeing Jesus…seeing people out of the Bible…all in Part One

writing five pages without editing except for a proofreader…writing a warning from God to a nation…being delivered from demons…having demons speak to you…having a demon pretend to be the Holy Spirit and tell you lies and direct you to do things that you assume are God telling you to do…staying up for three days and three nights without sleep… sleeping for two days straight…being so depressed you can’t even wash clothes, shower, shave or cook for yourself…all in Part two

These are all experiences I have had as a Christian with schizoaffective disorder. Which is Manic depressive (Bipolar disorder) and Schizophrenia bundled into one illness.

One thing I have found in the church is that FEW people understand mental illness. I also have never met a born again Christian in the mental health services I have been part of and so I am in limbo.

One time about five months ago when I was in hospital I prayed for a Schizophrenic patient to be able to hear from God, and asked her to repeat about four sentences that I would have God speak to her. The message was a message I wanted to hear from God but didn’t have the faith to ask Him myself as my own head was in a bad place with deceiving spirits going rampant. She was half way through the second sentence and tears were streaming down my face. God gave me a very comforting and reassuring message of hope in the midst of my crisis.

The patient who delivered the message was astounded that I was so affected and told me that she was so in love with the voice that had spoken the message to her. She said the voice was so soft and so full of love and so different to the voices that spoke to her. I told her that she could always ask God to speak to her and He would comfort her.

Everybody thinks Schizophrenic patients are possessed. Every one has half answers. Ask the same believers to cast the demons out of these patients and they are first to admit that they haven’t got the gift.

So how do I cope?

Man, I have to tell you this with all honesty.

I go to dark places and I cry. I cry a lot.

I pray.

I read my Bible.

And I chat to God.

Let me address each of the topics briefly that I mentioned above.

Insanity…being out of your mind.

Whenever you dream, daydreaming is being out of your mind. Where it crosses over to insanity is when you start to believe the reality is true. Many mentality ill people get help from inside their heads as an inner voice to think insane thoughts. I have in the past been quite convinced I was talking to Mary Magdalene in heaven. I used to speak to her for an hour each night. I was thrilled to be speaking to a person so close to Jesus. This is insanity.


Delusional as I understand the term is just like being out of your mind. In the year 2000 I began to speak to my ex wife in my mind. I was told by a spirit that was pretending to be Jesus that through my ex wife I was going to contact a whole lot of witches and convert them to Christianity and because they were gifted in the dark arts they were going to be very effective and powerful in the Christian world when they are operating out of love.

I asked who I thought was Jesus how to do it and he stepped me through it. Soon the whole 144,000 of the book of Revelation were converted and all were ex witches and I was the leader. I had a number of girls that I was speaking to in my mind and one was appointed as leader. Without much sleep I would preach to the 144,000 converts and teach them things and then I would ask them questions and we would do a count of the answers in percentage of which the lead girl would do a tally. Most of them were yes and no answers. When I started wanting to meet the Australian girls and the ones in my city and started to ask for phone numbers and email addresses I was told that it was a whole lot more convenient to speak like this.

If you have a Schizophrenic friend, ask them the answer they got from their voice they are speaking to when they asked for the phone number, mailing address, or email address.

The most common demonic response is that it’s cheaper and more convenient to do it through telepathy. I never pushed it further to the second and third level lies from demons.

Having visions of Grandeur…deceived by evil spirits.

I have thought I was one of the two witnesses of Revelation chapter 11. A human being who isn’t one of these two last days prophets who is convinced that they are, is most often mentally ill. When people said I wasn’t, this only made me more confident as I said, “No one believed in the prophets of the Bible, and so having no one believe me makes it more credible.” The only thing that brought my thinking back to reality was medication.

Many mentally ill people have low self esteem and so thinking they are a modern John the Baptist or Jesus or one of the two last day’s prophets makes them feel important. These delusions that the patient takes on makes them a person that is important and they will fight not to let go of this through of importance. All the way though my delusion I had a “Jesus” voice speaking to me that wasn’t Jesus. I never considered that Jesus would lie to me and so nothing my parents or friends said could be convincing to me.

God had grace on me though,as he allowed the Jesus voice on two occasions six years apart say something that turned out to be a lie. I never forgot the lies and could not reconcile I am the Way the Truth and the Life (John 14:6) of what Jesus said of Himself and the lies my Jesus had told me. I had simply forgiven Him and tried to forget it. Then two years ago anointed preacher from Malaysia told me my Mary Magdalene, the God the Father voice and the Jesus voice that were speaking to me were demons and that I was not to speak to them. I obeyed.

Possessed by demons.

On four occasions I have been delivered of demons. On only three of the occasions did I feel any better afterwards. As I have had an addiction to prostitutes I have always had a vessel full of all sorts of demons that have sex with me and fill me back up again. Touch wood by faith I have conquered that addiction so in months to come when I am delivered again they will stay out of me.

Much of the Christian community does not believe in demon possession. Fewer still believe that a born again Christian can be possessed. It’s as if demons disappeared 2000 years ago.

I have a number of demons still in me. I have to spend time on my faith, in the Word and in prayer and healing before I am ready for them to come out.

At present I know a man with a spirit of murder in him and he wants to kill me. Of late this has caused me some distress and put me into a depression. I have to avoid a whole block of my city for my life’s sake and this has upset me. Demons are real. Most times it’s a demon that is speaking to a Schizophrenic. But it’s not easy to turn that voice off even for a Christian with that illness.

Fear, lust and a spirit of Masons have been cast out of me. The Masonic spirit leaving made my whole head seem free. The spirit of fear had a big difference on my personality and is trying to re-exert itself through the man who wants to kill me. The Lord himself lifted the spirit of lust one day after I repented in tears and touch wood I have not been with a sex worker since.

Contacting the dead…trips to heaven and hell.

Often times when in conversation with a stranger the Holy Spirit will direct me to ask them if they have a question for Jesus. Sometimes the person will ask how a dead relative is. On many occasions Jesus will give me a message to share about their relative. On some occasions the relative has spoken. I know in the Law a medium is condemned yet each time it comes a surprise to me the question, and in almost every case the person’s eyes fill up with tears. I know this could be a familiar spirit but on most of the occasions I can describe the house the relative has in heaven and all the furniture and they are able to confess that features in the house I describe are exactly what they person would love but never had the money to own on earth or something like that. I see visions of the house and the people when this happens.

On many occasions I have been to heaven. I have been into a throne room at one time and seen a big ball of light like I think Isaiah saw. I explain that in more detail in my article Modern Prodigal Goes to Heaven. One time I saw a whole park full of children and Jesus told me it was all the children in heaven that had no parents. Most of them were abortions on earth. That was a memorable trip. One time in heaven Jesus put a big diamond the size of a soccer ball in my hand. Later on the Father said that diamond that I held would run the USA government for 200 years. He told me that was what he thought of money as the wall I took it out of was hundreds of feet high and miles long all of which were diamonds of that size. Bill Gates with all his wealth wouldn’t even be able to buy one of them, such is the verse Jesus said, “Beware of greediness, life does not consist of the abundance of one’s possessions.” And also when He said, “what does it profit a man if He gains the whole world and loses His own soul?” That wall of diamonds showed me the reality of those two verses.

Yeah I am no one great. But each time I have been to heaven it has been memorable for me. A month ago I took a guy to heaven in his mind in a vision where he met his wife that had died a year before. He saw her sitting with Jesus in a meadow full of yellow flowers and a waterfall in the distance. She smiled at him and spoke to him. I was pleased that he could tell me what she had said and done as I watched it happen and was able to confirm it.

I have been to a part of hell for two fifteen minute trips. It’s not a place you want to visit. If you are reading this and you are not a Christian, I invite you to email me and tell me so, I have a few passages in the Bible I want you to look up.

Seeing evil spirits…seeing angels…seeing Jesus…seeing people out of the Bible.

I have only once seen an evil spirit of lust on a girl. It did not look nice. The best I can say is it looked like one of those dragons, people like to collect in popular shops. It gave her an attraction to all the guys and she was very attractive also. One of the Christian men I was with pointed it out and when he did I saw it.

I once asked Jesus, “How come I see angels all the time and I don’t see demons?” He said, “Matthew if you saw the demons around you most of the time, you would not get any sleep.” I laughed, understood and never once complained since. Sometimes I have discernment of spirits and I can tell the name of a demon a person has inside of them, but I don’t see the demon.

However I have seen so many angels it would take a whole article to share all of them with you. Five times I have had the honour to see Michael the archangel. All but one time, He was in the company of Jesus. One time a few weeks before I went to hospital he was with me walking down the street. I saw two big guard dogs back off when I walked toward them as confirmation he was with me. The same day I had a six year old girl confirm that he was with me and when I told her Michael was a fighter, she started to have a play fight shadow boxing into the thin air as her mother wondered what had come over her daughter. With my two confirmations I felt convinced yes on that day I walked with Michael. I have felt a strong presence of God in a church and many times seen angels worshipping God in my church. On some special occasions to me I have seen women angels dancing.

Six years ago I was on a beach at 2am in the morning and Jesus had told me to move away from my family and go 400 miles and to Sydney where I had no friends and 800 miles from my son. On that night I asked Jesus where He was I was so caught up in my love for Him. He told me He was just beyond the breakers. I knew sharks like to cruise right behind the breakers for fish and night time was the wrong time to be swimming there, but I pushed the fear aside and went to swim out. As soon as I took a step toward the water the water receded 100 feet. I asked Jesus what was going on, and he said, “Not tonight, but you will meet me real soon.”

I said, “You said in the Book of Revelation that you are coming soon and that has been 200 years. How soon is soon?”

He said “very very soon Matthew.”

Three weeks later I met Jesus in Sydney in the flesh. He was dressed as a hungry, homeless man, dirty and forsaken by men. He did three things is my presence that were miracles to prove that He was who I thought He was. One of them was disappear into thin air.

I have seen Jesus in heaven, seen Him on many occasions in visions on earth and not less then ten times with one of my good friends. I once have been knighted by Jesus with a sword. I do not know what that means. When He spoke for ten minutes in the flesh on His ideas on the Gospels, the speech was so rich, so profound that I know it would take many years’ study to understand the depths of it.

In heaven I have met people out of the Bible. I have also met Daniel and the Apostle John on earth in visions on earth. I know I will have some role to play in these end times simply because both these men wrote visions of prophecy about these last days. Daniel came and comforted me in hospital.

Seeing evil spirits, seeing angels, seeing Jesus and dead people would have a sane person committed to a psychiatric ward of most hospitals, but to me these are regular experiences and you can’t have me put away because at present my mental health workers are very happy with my state of health. I am in a major depression and they can’t even tell.

As you can see I have not covered all of the topics. The rest: of them being:

writing five pages without editing except a proofreader…writing a warning from God to a nation…being delivered from demons…having demons speak to you…having a demon pretend to be the Holy Spirit and tell you lies and direct you to do things that you assume are God telling you to do…staying up for three days and three nights without sleep… sleeping for two days straight…being so depressed you can’t even wash clothes, shower, shave or cook for yourself…will be covered in part two.

Matthew shares his heart in these articles and can be found at You can read more of his articles at his link below.

If you want a copy of his upcoming book of articles which will have the first sixty of the articles on this web-site called “The Musings of a Mad Prophet” please contact Matthew via email so he can contact you around February 2007 to tell you of the progress of the book.

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Drugging Children: A Cruel Sign of the Times

June 19, 2006 by  

Would I allow Ritalin or other similar drugs to be prescribed to my children because they fidgeted, squirmed in their seat or were inattentive? Hell would freeze over a thousand times before I’d submit to such idiocy. But today an estimated five million Canadian and U.S. children are prescribed medication for this condition.


CANDIDATES FOR RITALIN? Five million Canadian and United States children are already taking Ritalin for a diagnosis of hyperactivity.


Others, such as Dr. Peter R. Breggin, a renowned researcher in this field, say doctors have become “oblivious to the fact these drugs cause manic and schizophrenic-like disorders.” He cites a Canadian study in which a staggering nine percent of children on this medication developed psychotic symptoms.

He argues that when children on ADHD medication become paranoid and have delusions, they’re diagnosed with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Rather than weaning them off the drug they are prescribed more drugs to treat these problems.

MORE: The Epoch Times | Drugging Children: A Cruel Sign of the Times

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