X’mas stress and depression: tips for prevention

`Tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la… But the holiday season can bring not only good mood and goodwill but stress and depression. The holiday season in the US starts can start as early as November at Thanksgiving until New Year. In Europe it starts from early December till 6 January, the feast of the 3 Kings. In an Asian country where I was born, Christmas starts when the month’s name ends with “-ber”, e.g. as early as September! It goes without saying that the holiday season can become too long and although many of us start off quite happy and gay, we get burned out towards the end of the season, what with too much shopping, too much cooking and baking, too much wining and dining, too much celebrating. It puts a burden on us financially, physically, as well as emotionally. It can cause strain in our personal relationships, our professional life, thereby tipping over that ever precarious life-work balance. It is no wonder that the holiday season can end in stress and depression. Fortunately, there are ways and means to prevent these. Health experts at the Mayo Clinic give us some good advice.

The first step is to recognize the most common holiday triggers that lead to a meltdown and immediately try to diffuse these triggers. The second step is to take control of the holidays and not let the holidays control you. The Mayo Clinic experts give us some 10 concrete steps to avoid stress and depression this holiday season

• Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can’t be with loved ones, realize that it’s normal to feel sadness and grief. It’s OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can’t force yourself to be happy just because it’s the holiday season.
• Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
• Be realistic. The holidays don’t have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can’t come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.
• Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don’t live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they’re feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.
• Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don’t try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone’s name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
• Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That’ll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
• Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every project or activity. If it’s not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
• Don’t abandon healthy habits. Don’t let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don’t go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
• Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
• Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

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