Stage 5 Alzheimer’s Disease-Caregiver Response

Today is the third day that I’ve discussed the stages of Alzheimer’s disease.  People are very different and they all start from different “norms.”  For example, I have an excellent memory for phone numbers.  Someone else may have never been good at remembering numbers, so our norm from the beginning would be different.  That said, there are still benchmarks and tell tale signs that would signal the various stages of Alzheimer’s disease.

As stated previously, my goal is to give you the characteristics of each stage AND to let you know how you as a caregiver can respond to the things going on in that particular stage.

Stage 5

You will go from providing some assistance in daily activities to more sustained and consistent assistance.  For example, in stage 4 you may have started helping with finances and meal preparation. 

In this stage, stage 5, you will find that your loved one needs help with most daily activities.  For example, grandma may still know how to put her clothes on, but she may forget to take her pajamas off before she gets dressed.  She may put her bra on over her sweater or put her nightgown on OVER her clothes. It’s probably not safe for her to cook because she may put something inappropriate into the microwave or turn on the stove and forget it’s on.  There is also potential for a severe burn as she may not recall that the pot handle is hot.  She may not remember that she just poured boiling water into a cup and therefore attempt to drink it before it is at the correct temperature.  She spends much more time in the past than she does in the present, although she probably remembers close family and friends (most of the time). With regards to time and space, she may forget where she is, the date, time and or season.

Caregiver Response

At this stage, you will become much more involved in day to day care.  Your loved one will need help getting dressed properly and preparing meals.  If your loved one lives alone, you’ll have to consider moving her in with someone who can provide round the clock supervision because wandering and safety will become more and more of a concern.  If you haven’t already, you should consider adult day care programs and senior center activities.  These day programs will keep your loved one’s body and mind active, while providing appropriate supervision.  My mom attended adult day care for a few years. Transportation was provided and it was safe for her and provided an opportunity for me to run errands, work, care for my young son, take care of household duties and get ready for her return in the evening.

You should start to think seriously about the future.  As caregiving requires more time, will you bring in outside help? Consider an Alzheimer’s Care facility? Rally friends and family?

NOTE:  If you haven’t already gotten durable Power of Attorney (POA), it may be too late.  If your loved one can still be logical and make some decisions, you need to handle this matter RIGHT NOW.  Stage 6 will be too late for sure. There are other options, but they are more time consuming, more costly and much more involved than just getting the Power of Attorney.

               

Caregiver’s Corner–Get HELP

While college students plan their parties and high school students consider their weekend options; while your coworkers give thought to what movie they’ll see this weekend and family members consider how they might celebrate Easter, your plans remain the same. 

Whether you have dinner with family, attend a religious service or plan to stay home, one thing is constant.  You are a caregiver.

And there is at least one characteristic that is common among almost all caregivers, we are stressed and we need HELP.  You will rarely find a caregiver who says, “I’m all set, I have all the help and support I need.  My family readily chips in and I get a break whenever I need it.”

So, let me give you some practical suggestions as to how to get some much needed help:

ASK–I know that your brother should know that you take care of mom all week and that you need a break on the weekends.  But he didn’t renew his subscription to “Mind Reader Today,” so his skills have gotten a bit rusty.  Besides, you make it look easy and you seem to have everything under control.  So let him know that you need some help. 

BE SPECIFIC–”I could use some help you know” is not a request.  It’s a statement yelled in anger, frustration or desperation.  Or, it’s  breathed under your breath, either way, it still does not express what you really need. Try these specific requests and see how they work out:

• John, would you sit with mother on Saturday morning from 9 to 1?
• Mary, would you please prepare lunch for mom on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
• Mike, would you be willing to give mom dinner on Tuesday evenings?
• Linda, I know your schedule is tight. We are all stretched.  If I give you advance notice, would you handle taking mom to the doctor (or wherever)?

GET MOM OUT OF THE HOUSE–This one depends on what stage of Alzheimer’s you are dealing with.  Senior centers and Adult Day Care programs are excellent options.  They provide:

Opportunities for your loved one to socialize

Skill appropriate activities

Opportunity to get exercise 

A much needed break for YOU. 

In addition, many provide transportation to and from the center as well.

YOU GET OUT OF THE HOUSE–Consider paid help.  I have only one older brother.  At the time I was caring for my mom, we did not live in the same state.  So, I was pretty much on my own 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  It was a formula for disaster and depression.  Eventually, I hired someone to come in and help out.  On occasion, my husband or a church member would hold the fort down while I took a quick breather.

It was during my caregiving days that I buried superwoman along with her big red “S,” blue spandex and red cape flying in the wind.  I suggest you have a ceremony right now, let the superman/woman thing go. It’s a great cartoon, but doesn’t work in real life.

If you want to serve your loved one well and for the long haul, learn to ask for help and take care of YOU. 

Assignment–Get some HELP!