Dealing With Alcoholism in Yourself or Someone You Love

By Ian Henman

It might be you, a loved one, or a friend dealing with the problem. No matter who it is alcoholism could very well be one of the most difficult issues you’ll face over the course of your life. Similar to taking drugs or smoking alcoholism becomes a very big burden to carry around with you. Knowing it can lead to great disaster and even death of the person it directly effects. When ever you find yourself dealing with alcoholism you should prepare yourself for the worst, but hope the best will come of it all.

The initial step taken when dealing with alcoholism is the alcoholic, or yourself must admit that a problem exists. Like any addiction, until the person addicted realizes there is a problem to them there isn’t one. How can you decide if a person has a problem with alcohol? Is their drinking out of hand, is it having a negative impact on their life, work, and relationships with others. If this sounds like someone you know then there is a good chance they do have a problem. How ever you recognizing it doesn’t mean there is a solution close by, dealing with alcoholism is a two way street. Remember you can’t help someone with a problem, if they themselves haven’t realized it yet.

Now of course all this is not to make you feel as though that person is lost or doomed. There are places an alcoholic can go for help dealing with alcoholism. Likely the most used and heard of alternative is AA or alcoholics anonymous. The people of AA have developed a universal tried and tested plan to help recovering and drinking alcoholics overcome their addictions. There are many people who even after they quite drinking continue to rely on the ways of AA to help guide their lives. To go along with AA there are similar support groups and programs that family members of alcoholics can attend dealing with alcoholism. These programs help them deal with the person, and how to help them cope with their new found sobriety.

Never forget that alcoholism is indeed a disease. While you may have trouble showing pity to those who suffer from it remember it could cause the death of a friend, or loved one. If you are dealing with alcoholism, and feel you have no where to turn there are places you can turn for help quick. The Internet for one can link you to online support forums, and also the closet AA meetings in your area. Don’t let yourself live under the guidance of alcoholism, find help and beat it.

For more information about dealing with addictions, and treatment articles please visit our website at Overcoming Addictions

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Am I Addicted?

By Jhalak Jerajani

A question that pops up in your mind when you do a certain task very regularly with you understanding so as to why you are doing so in the first place. I have noticed in many situations that people never realize that they are addicted until they are told so. So how do people react when they are termed as addicted? A very obvious emotion seen is fright, or worry. Addiction is considered to be a disease that can’t be cured. However, just like a coin addiction can be viewed with two different perspectives. A positive addiction is similar to a good habit that voluntarily or involuntarily done by a person. At the same time a negative addiction is just like habit that causes damage to self or others in a physical or psychological way.

Ok so I am addicted, can you help me? The answer to this question is NO. There are no drugs or special herbs that would come in handy in this situation. So how do I cure myself? The answer is in that question itself, i.e. I, yes only you can cure yourself. Learn to use the word NO; it’s a small word with big impact. You have to be strong in your mind, don’t let your sub-conscious mind control you but you control your sub-conscious mind. Whenever you are tempted to do one of those addicted tasks, be strong, understand the fact that it is wrong, and finally refrain from doing it. You may have mixed emotions in you mind that instance but don’t you ever overlook the fact that you are now so proud of yourself, for saying NO, to all those addictive tasks.

Isn’t that like so simple, so what is the catch? I spoke to few addicts, after they understood this procedure they agreed to follow it for a month to start with and then they would give me feedback on it. The day of the feedback I realized that many could successfully follow the procedure only for a week or even less, many very easily lied and later confessed, and there were some who just preferred continuing being an addict without even trying to see the other side of the world. Yes, it isn’t as simple as it sounds. Controlling your sub-conscious mind isn’t very simple.

So the question arises, how do I control my sub-conscious mind? Do I take relaxants or any other drugs? No don’t need to start taking relaxants; you cannot stop one addiction by starting another. The idea out here is to always be in your conscious mind and not let your sub-conscious mind control you. You should be in peace with yourself; yes this is one very important thing. I would recommend yoga in the morning; a small session would do the trick. When you meditate I want you to remember all the good things that happened to you, all the bad things that happened to you, how would that change you, how would respond to things, this way I want you to reflect on your past, and cure the wounds, so that your past positively influences your present. When you do this exercise regularly, it also presets you in an active mode when you start your day, rather than a passive mode.

As they say, winning someone’s trust is hard, but keeping that trust maintained is even harder. This phrase also applies in our situation too, as coming out of an addiction is hard but maintaining that life long is even harder. So let us see some sarcastic do’s and dont’s. If you are tempted towards an addictive task, don’t feel bad that’s just human, but you saying NO is just divine. For every addictive action, there is an equal and opposite guideline. If you feel defeated, complaining would just not help, just work harder. If they call you a geek because you quit an addiction, times are changing, geeks are cooler now-a-days. Every person in an addictive state tends to remain in that state unless an external force is applied to it.

I would like to conclude saying, be strong and stay strong. It is hard and it even gets harder, but its totally worth it.

Jhalak Jerajani has invested numerous years of her life understanding psychological issues, their cause, their solution, and how they tend to affect humans. You can also read more of her articles at Bharathi Shriyan’s Astrology.

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Help Your Loved One Stay Drug Free

By Michael Russell

Drug or alcohol addiction is a sneaky disease. It keeps you believing that everything is under control and it all depends on your will whether you want to quit or not, but in reality it doesn’t work that way. An abuser who keeps thinking that “its no big deal” and “everything is under control” is in a state of denial. This can keep a person in the cycle of addiction for years.

Once the addict comes to term with his addiction and recognizes that a problem does exist, you can help the person stay on the road to recovery.

It is likely that most of the abuser’s friends and acquaintances also drink or do drugs. When already recovering from addiction, the person may face the biggest problem of sobriety, the loneliness of not having friends to talk to and deal with. To avoid this, be available to your loved one who is becoming clean and sober. Let the person feel that you are available to talk with and are interested to listen to his stories, so that he may not feel alone and without friends.

Many drug addicts and alcoholics become sedentary as a consequence of their addiction. You can encourage your loved one to stay physically healthy by engaging in a worthwhile exercise routine. He can take a walk, jog, ride a bike and play tennis or badminton. You can be his exercise buddy so that he will be encouraged to continue the healthy habit. Exercise will make him clear his mind of drugs and at the same time it releases endorphins that make a person feel good. This are the body’s own “feel good” chemicals.

If your loved one needs to attend support groups, offer to go with him. The first few meetings of these support groups can sometimes be too intimidating for a recovering substance dependent. Be there to support him and show him that you care and all you yearn for is his full recovery. This will enable him to gather enough courage to continue attending these support groups for his own betterment.

Help your loved one tackle difficult situations without resorting to the familiar drug or alcohol support. You may start off with facing easier situations like going to the bar with him without drinking alcohol and only taking soda or any non-alcoholic beverages. A wide range of emotions are usually expected from somebody who has been addicted to drugs or alcohol for many years. Often, the reason for taking drugs or alcohol is the person’s inability to face painful feelings like sadness and anger. Once an addict is back to sobriety, he may feel these old feelings coming back and may find it difficult to face these old enemies without drugs. Be a good listener. He may also be remorseful of his actions in the past as a consequence of his addiction. Allow him to talk to you and let him feel comfortable doing it. Do not argue with him. Let his words and sentiments flow. Never judge him or his actions. Show your concern and let him know that you will always be there to listen to him and you can be a shoulder he can cry on.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Addictions

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The Other Side of Mother’s Day

By Sheryl Letzgus McGinnis

Mother’s Day! The words conjure a picture of a loving mother surrounded by her children and loving family, receiving flowers, gifts, and mushy cards from her progeny, celebrating the sacrifice and love of motherhood.

This Mother’s Day the above scenario will take place again, all over the country. It will be a wonderful day for so many, a chance to say Thank You Mom for always being there for me, for loving me even during times when I wasn’t so lovable.

Mothers will be filled with pride and gratitude and all past transgressions will be forgotten, at least for the day. Tomorrow will bring everyone back to reality, but for this one day, it will be a time to unabashedly proclaim our love for the woman who gave us life.

As we go about our daily activities interacting with others, we’ll hear the inevitable Happy Mother’s Day greetings, from friends and even strangers, the cashier at the supermarket. This innocuous greeting, a kind pleasantry for many, is like a knife to the heart for the Other Mothers.

Who are the Other Mothers? We are the ones who won’t be celebrating this Mother’s Day in sync with the rest of the country. We are the ones who people tend to shy away from, especially on holidays and most especially on this one day set aside to celebrate us! Who are we? We are the mothers of a deceased child. To compound matters, we are not only the mothers of a deceased child, but we are the mothers of a child who is deceased from drugs! I can almost feel you recoil as you read these words. I know. I used to be of the same mindset until I became an Other Mother.

We may have other children, children whom we absolutely love and adore and would give our life for. That is a given. Because we mourn our deceased child, that does not diminish the love that we have for our other child or children. However, on Mother’s Day the heartbreak of the loss of that child is more acutely felt, although we feel this heartbreak every day. From the time we lift our head off the pillow in the morning, until we lay it down again at night, no matter what activity is going on around us, our minds and hearts are consumed with thoughts of our child who is no longer with us. Our child who died from the disease of addiction.

There are 365 days in a year and each one of them has a special dedication, whether it be a nationally known holiday such as Mother’s Day, Christmas, Hannukah, Veterans’ Day or some obscure day such as National Blame It On Somebody Else Day. Whatever the day, there is a national something or other attached to it, quite often more than one. How about a National Mother’s Day for Mothers Who Have Lost a Child to the Disease of Addiction? Why not? Is it any stranger than National Don’t Go To Work Unless It’s Fun Day or any of a host of other national faux holidays?

I’m certainly not ashamed that my child died of addiction. I’m far too busy being heartbroken every day to worry about shame. I am deeply saddened and tortured by the loss of my beloved child but never ever ashamed. He had a disease.

Addiction is a brain disease. The addicted person has no more control over their disease than someone suffering from diabetes or cancer does. Their struggle is just as painful and difficult for them.

Most addicted people start down their destructive path when they are children. Children don’t consider the consequences of their actions and they think they’re invincible. Ultimately they discover that it is the drugs that are invincible.

So on this Mother’s Day while everyone is celebrating the joys of motherhood, whether you’re already a mother or about to become one, I hope you will take a moment to ponder the Other Mothers. The Other Mothers who will be smiling on the outside while trying to quell the raging volcano of grief that is erupting on the inside as we fight with all of our being to prevent it from spewing forth and demoralizing everyone around us. We don’t want that. We don’t want to deny other mothers their well-deserved day of recognition. We also do not want you to join our ranks. What we do want is to have our child acknowledged, and remembered. We want them remembered for the kind, caring, loving children that they were, not for the disease that ravaged their minds and bodies.

Our children lived and were loved and are still loved. They abound in our thoughts and hearts every moment of our lives. If we happen to meet on this Mother’s Day, please don’t be afraid to acknowledge the day. You don’t even have to utter those words “Happy Mother’s Day.” If you will just acknowledge our child, say his or her name and if you have any remembrances of them, this would be a nice time to say so. You can’t hurt us by talking about them. In fact, you can bet if you do talk about our child, you will see a genuine smile envelop our face and I know that will make us both feel good.

Sheryl Letzgus McGinnis is the author of the book “I Am Your Disease (The Many Faces of Addiction)” published by Outskirts Press. You can read about, and purchase the book at www.iamyourdisease.com

I am a retired medical transcriptionist and radio DJ who also did voiceovers for TV. Married, with one living son, having lost my youngest son Scott, who was a paramedic and an RN to the disease of addiction. Happily married for 40 years to Jack, 8th grade science teacher. My oldest son Dale is soon to be a graduate student in Ecology and Environmental Biology.

We live in Palm Bay, Florida. I am originally from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia and am a citizen of both Australia and the US. We are owned by one dog and two cats!

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Addictions - Recognising an Alcoholic

By Michael Russell

Learning that your life partner or a close friend or family member is an alcoholic can come as a severe shock. This is particularly true when you have failed to notice that anything was wrong with them over a long period. However, you shouldn’t blame yourself because the nature of an alcoholic is to be secretive and devious so as not to be caught out.

In some households, it is normal practice to have a couple of drinks after work, wine with dinner and maybe even a nightcap. If yours is one of those, then it is even less likely that you will notice if someone is an alcoholic. The same holds true for couples or families who socialise a lot in pubs or restaurants or other establishments, which serve alcoholic drinks. In these circumstances, if someone seems a little tipsy occasionally, the assembled company will probably pass it off as “one too many”, but what’s going on when “one too many” becomes a daily occurrence?

Unfortunately, the signs of alcoholism differ from person to person. Some can consume huge quantities of alcohol, without apparent ill effects, until one last drink tips them over the edge. Others will get drunk very quickly, on what appears to be a small amount of alcohol. However, don’t forget they may actually have been drinking since early in the morning.

Some tell-tale signs are:

- furtive behaviour

- lurking near the drinks tray at odd times of day

- smell of alcohol on the breath at odd times of day

- undue irritability

- defensive responses to innocent enquiries

Some alcoholics are so sure that they have covered their tracks that they will do very strange things indeed. A prime example of this was a man who had two friends who were traffic police officers. His route to work each day took him past their police station, so he decided to drop in and join them for a cup of coffee. However, he had made one fundamental mistake, following his early morning drink of scotch; he had failed to cover up the smell on his breath. He was lucky; one officer took him home and the other drove his car. He could have been caught on the motorway, been breathalysed and lost his licence.

Another obvious sign of an alcoholic in the house is empty bottles hidden in strange places, for example:

- rarely used suitcases

- the very back of cupboards

- on top of wardrobes

- in the loo cistern

- in the shed or garage

Many alcoholics will insist on having a drink when there isn’t really time such as just before leaving the house for a dinner party or last thing before bed, having been drinking all evening. If you try to stop them, they will become bad-tempered and argumentative.

When you become convinced that the person in question is addicted to alcohol, check with a few close family friends to have your suspicions confirmed. If they too believe that there is a problem, then there almost certainly is. When you confront the alcoholic, they will vehemently deny that anything is wrong, so it’s as well to have a second opinion to bolster your confidence.

Well, you’ve done the easy bit; you’ve recognised that your friend or lover is an alcoholic; all you have to do now is get them to recognise it and seek treatment.

Michael Russell Your Independent guide to Addictions

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