By Sandee Foxten
We were high school sweethearts. Reunited after nearly 20 years, he was the one my heart had always belonged to. Love at first site is real. That is how we fell in love. The first time we saw each other, our eyes met and from that moment on, my life has never been the same. My first marriage ended in divorce and my second marriage left me as a young widowed mother of two. About a year after my husband’s death, I got a very shocking email. He was looking for me! My high school sweetie was trying to find me and I just broke down and cried in disbelief. At the time, I thought it was fate. I was on top of the world thinking that I would finally be with that one special person I never seemed to be able to put out of my mind. After talking for awhile and getting up to date on each others lives, I learned that his life was far from joyous. At the time, he was in a place in another state that helps drug addicts. He had a job and seemed pretty stable. He told me he had been clean for two years. Not knowing anything about drugs myself, I thought that all he needed was me. I thought that as long as he had my love and knew it was true, he would never feel the need for drugs again. My entire world was fixing to be turned upside down.
After driving to another state to be reunited with my old flame, we decided that he would move to my city so we could be together. He found a job really quick, but couldn’t find a decent place to stay. So I allowed him to stay with me. That is a move that didn’t take me long to regret. Once he stayed and I was in his arms, I didn’t want to let go of him again. So my home became his home. It didn’t take long to learn that he hadn’t given up cocaine. He started staying out all night. The first time, it wasn’t just all night, he was gone for several days. The truth started becoming reality not long after that. We had went out to a bar with some friends and after a few drinks, he wanted me to take him to buy drugs. I refused and told him we were going home. On the way home, we got into a heated argument and he tried to hit me. I was driving and I pulled over on the side of the at 4am and told him to get out. I wasn’t sure who this man was, but it wasn’t somebody I loved. I felt bad and went back to pick him up. We agreed that he would leave that night. He was going to pack his clothes and I would take him to the bus station. But when we got home, he took off in one of my vehicles. After we cooled down and he got his drugs out of his system, we agreed to work it out. But things only got worse. On payday, he wouldn’t bother coming home. He was gone for the weekend, getting high. Eventually, he started stealing from me. He stole items from my home to trade for drugs or money to get drugs. He stole my credit cards and drained my bank accounts. I had to take leave from my job because the situation was so stressful.
“Baby Blue” as I call him, was honestly a good man when he was sober. Very caring, very loving and gentle. But once he started drinking and doing cocaine, he became very abusive and destructive. The situation progressively worsened. While on drugs, he would make up stuff and see things that I didn’t see. I knew it was the drugs. But he would accuse me of trying to hide things. Such as he thought I was cheating on him and that is the last thing I would do. Eventually, he took a trip back to his home state and never returned. The bad part, he stole one of my vehicles in the process. I had to drive to another state and hunt him down only to find he didn’t have my vehicle. He said he let someone drive it to the store and they never returned it. I will never forget the pain of that night. He was so strung out on drugs and I had him in my hotel room planning on having him arrested for the theft of my vehicle. It was this night that I found out what no woman would ever want to here. Never in a million years did I think one man could hurt me so much. He told me what he had been doing there those past few days and it was like someone shot a bullet right into my heart. He had been running around with a prostitute and had also been selling himself to other men for drugs. This man that I loved so much was sleeping with other men. I just wanted to die at that moment. I could not believe this was happening. What more could I do? What I did next was the hardest thing I had ever been through next to the death of my husband.
He wanted more drugs. He wanted me to take him. At first, I refused. Then after a few moments, I agreed. My intention was to find out where the drug dealer lived. I was from out of state, but I am very good at directions. I remembered the name of the road and number on the house. After returning to the hotel, he went in the bathroom and did his drug thing. That was the one that finally made him tired enough to sleep. I rubbed his back for him to ensure he would go to sleep. It was already after daybreak, so I made my move. I called the police. Within an hour, there were three police cars outside the hotel room door. I talked to them outside. They entered the room and woke him up. After asking a few questions, they decided to arrest him. He started fighting with them and I thought they were going to break his neck when they through him down on the bed. I was standing beside the wall and I just fell down on my knees begging him not to fight. As they took him away, the cops came back in to comfort me and told me to go home and to never come back. That boy was no good for me and I needed to stay away from him.
I cried all the way home, a four hour drive. I never returned to my job because the stress caused a back injury to worsen. “Baby Blue” spent four months in a detention center for theft of my vehicle. Today, he is back out on the streets and still doing drugs. I do not know what I could have done to save him. I think he is content doing what he does. As for me, my kids were far more important than having a man to love and run after. No man will ever come before my kids. My experiences have lead me to start a blog about drug and alcohol abuse. I have received great reviews for my work on this blog.
Please take time to visit at livedrugfree.blogspot.com
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