By Trevor Kugler
For the better part of ten years this is the exact question that I would ask myself every morning in the shower. I would stand there with the water washing over me and wonder if I drank too much. In hindsight, now that I don’t drink any more, I realize that if I was asking myself the question, “Do I drink too much” everyday, I quite obviously drank too much. But this begs the question, how much is too much?
The answer to this question would probably vary for each individual, but I know the bottom line was that I came to the conclusion that I drank too much. My average had to be a twelve pack of beer a day. Not a twelve pack every single day, some days on the four or five. But then I would have a “good run” a couple of times a week where I would polish off an 18-pack, or even give a case of beer a run for it’s money. So my average had to be around 12 beers a day.
Then one day something happened…….my daughter incarnated into this world and all of the sudden drinking simply didn’t make as much sense to me. I simply couldn’t see myself being a bad example to her. How could I tell her not to drink, when I myself drank? I couldn’t reconcile this, so I stopped. That’s right, I walked away from drinking. Now I don’t drink. Not even a beer with dinner, because what would be the point of that? Because of the taste? That’s what I told myself for years, that I drank beer because I liked the taste. It’s a funny thing though, when you walk away from something after being so deeply entrenched for so long, you come to some realizations.
For me, one of those realizations was that I didn’t drink beer for the taste. I drank beer because of the way it made me “feel”. I refused to admit this when I drank, but after stepping away, I realized that it was true. Why do we as humans spend so much time trying to avoid the truth? Because that’s exactly what I did for a little over fifteen years, I avoided that which was true through drinking. I think Marcus Aurelius said it quite poignantly when he said,” Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” My perspectives had all become clouded.
So did I go to meetings to come to these realizations? Or did I find religion? No, none of those things. The only thing I can point to is my daughter incarnating into this world to, in my new found perspective, save me. I have a very strong knowing that my daughter was literally sent here to save me. Or was it that she was summoned from somewhere deep within myself?
Trevor Kugler is co-founder of JRWfishing.com and an avid angler. He has more than 20 years experience fishing for all types of fish, and 15 years of business and internet experience. He currently raises his three year old daughter in the heart of trout fishing country… Montana!
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